Memoirs of the Swivel Chair -2

“Insanity is a good tool, use it well” Robert Clark….
I still maintain that the swivel chair is one of the most interesting invention at any work station. I don’t know how to say this without sounding crazy to most people, but I am challenged by more work or complicated stuff. I am still an ardent believer in the term work life balance even though it still seems like nothing more than a fancy word.

When it comes to life and living, I believe one should be open to doing whatever they find to do, dabble as much as you can, yes be an expert at something but never miss a chance to dabble.

Who we truly are and will be is a sum of all our experiences, knowledge, training and culture. As we go through life be happy to unlearn some things as change is the only constant thing in life.

Yes work is tough and trust me it won’t get easier but that doesn’t stop anything, work life balance should be more than a chance to go on vacation or just lounge, it should include experiencing little moments of fun even whilst doing your job.

*Atleast you took time off the task*insert a laughter here*

When you travel for a seminar, try the new food even if you spend the whole week swearing how *yucky* it was. Visit the market or the pub, cross the road so you know if drivers there have regards for pedestrians at least you will have something else to say.

The truth is now you have tried one new thing and you have learned. How about getting a little knowledge of how a different units other than your department works, make jokes with colleagues ask about their culture and unlearn the prejudices you once knew about their cultures.

We will all not be entrepreneurs, I am not someone to start an office from scratch but I am one to buy equities, or franchise or partnership does that mean you won’t have a boss? So long as they are consumers you have a boss.

Travel and learn as much as you can. Who remembers the richest man in this country 10-20years ago? But the not particularly wealthy men who have rewritten our history will forever be remembered. The men whose portrait appear on the currency notes may not have been rich enough to be on Forbes list but they have rewritten our history, the richest men are then measured in the quantity of those notes.

Sometimes I wonder the irony in that, is there something to learn in this or it’s just me?
My posts have some really odd titles like this one…it should make sense someday maybe not today

Potpourri of random maybe sensible something -3

Yes it is the 3rd one, maybe the last *fingers and toes crossed*

Living in this world, means living by a set of rules. The question then becomes, who’s rules? Yours and theirs?

Whenever I dabble into relationships talks which has kind of become inevitable these days, you hear all the rules there are.

Rules like; you can’t date your colleague or business partner, you can’t date younger, you can’t beneath your work level, you can’t date your friend’s ex of 5years ago, your friend’s brother *whew* Michelle was Obama’s mentor, today he is president. She wouldn’t have known he would be president at the time but well here they are.

In choosing a person to date, it should be solely your rules and I dare say women should not be afraid to start small. The beauty of being an independent woman is not that you can pay the bills, it’s the freedom to choose and make your own rules. A lot of us women are eager to scream we are independent , but is your mind liberated? I am a huge fan of marrying right which has nothing to do with wealth, it is more about someone who can fulfill your destiny , someone who if you join forces with them will bring you to your dream post.

Does he have great character, can he make you happy, are his dreams realistic? And who says you need an Obama ? What if he is that sort of man whose role is to love you (that’s what God put him here to do) so you can be focused to become Condollezza Rice or Oprah. He may never earn as much as you do but he does bring a lot to the table.

Oftentimes, we single handedly narrow our options then start to cry. Go on that date,free drinks or you pay for yours nobody says you have to call him or take it further. Do whatever comes your way to do within your own limits of safety and sanity, you just never know. I remember the movie “Think like a man, act like a woman” well it’s based on the Steve Harvey book, that’s the title right? *chuckles* its cliche yea? But it mirrors all of us and the men we date and how we are, mistakes are to be made that’s why it’s called that, but the opportunity to make an informed decision is priceless.

The case of the Dead & The Undead

Nothing I dare say is more final than death….it is so finishing, so ending I can’t begin to comprehend.

When I look at the Dead and Undead, I wonder who is happier.

The Undead cry, wail and mourn the dead, the pains of death lies with the Undead, only the Undead know for sure the power of death. Only the Undead know how final death is, only the Undead live with the guilt of not saying nice things, or being caring only the Undead often don’t get the chance to say goodbye.

For the Dead, the hustling is over, no more sins, no more earthly pains, no mosquito bites, they don’t have to worry about NEPA! Or all the things that the Undead deal with which the Undead call stress and pain.

The victory in death lies with the Dead, the Undead is crippled by fear of the unknown, but the Dead has found freedom. Now the Dead knows for sure, if there is a heaven, a hell or just a void. The one who knows has more power, the Undead will never know what the Dead knows.

Listening to folk tales as told by my father, I see everyday that ” isi elune uno aya eku ife ofu” (this is my dialect lol..) literally it means “the head that doesn’t get home cannot say what they saw”.

On this note, do not speak ill of the dead, be thankful for life.

Yesterday was Feb 14, some of us who didn’t get presents would be hurting, but being alive is the biggest present, at least you have to first be alive to get a present.

Death is so final, its scary how quickly everything ends.

Potpourri of random maybe sensible something-2

Every time i hear about a wedding or see people getting married, in some cases I am happy for them and other times I wonder what the hurry is, I wonder why they are wasting everybody’s time.

I have seen people depreciate from what they were as single people,less awareness about things happening around them in some cases it’s like they became lights hidden behind bushels or they just caved in and died a social death.

They would say how happy and better off they are and same time how lucky you are and still hound you about being unmarried.

Maybe I have very high standards or I am highly non-committal or not everyone will be married after all , okay that’s what most unmarried people say when they are not saying they are waiting for Mr/Mrs Right.

Definition of a good marriage or someone who married well is relative. People have a picture in their head of what kind of lives they want or need to live.

I am quite certain that your happiness, destiny or failure; what they become has a direct bearing on your associations. A person no matter how willed or free willed interacts with his environment and often times reflects that environment.

I am unmarried so this may well be cast as a thoughtless piece from one without experience but this is what I know and think.

For a person to marry well, you should look at your personality, spiritual standing, social standing, life goals and interests before choosing a mate. The kind of kids and home you want to have is also to be considered.

Men I agree are visual beings, hence it’s not uncommon to see a man you consider to be of great worth falling slave to petty fascination of a beautiful woman. As women we grow up often thinking that the concept ” hard to get” or being snobbish will bring men to our feet, well at a certain age yes but as men grow older and attain certain standards that becomes repulsive. Also, men grow up thinking a lady is wooed only by gifts or pestering, women as they grow also find it repulsive.

To marry well is not just about money, class or physical compatibility. Even the least educated or exposed sometimes marry well, as women these days we seldom get to learn all the skills our mothers had, because the kind of education we get these days are of a seemingly low standard, women in the days of old learnt as a skill how to mend, polish homes, sing, some learnt poetry, tapestry and even the art of lovemaking and massages, how to walk and dress as a lady.

If we still had all these combined with western education, imagine what the world will be.

Some of us marry still as children, we haven’t quite formed or come to know the huge responsibility that comes from attaching our souls or destiny to another, in some cases we become a burden to the ones we love unable to follow them on the path destiny and fate has carved and not able to fulfill our own destinies. We feel guilty sometimes for chasing our own dreams.

Sometimes you find an educated, goal oriented and successful woman with a struggling barrister yet to define his path no to talk of finding it or some man with a mashed brain in the name of being a hustler trying to make it, you find the man who has found his own path trapped by a pretty nonsensical woman, these people unable to support each other on the path of their destinies.

To marry well is not about who you married its about what your life becomes with that person in the equation. Are you able to find your spiritual balance, is the energy or aura right with the two of you in combination, what social success or physical or mental growth is achieved.

Half of the problems in the world are as a result of people not marrying well or right or being with the wrong mate giving rise to half nurtured human beings with misplaced values, anger, low or poorly managed self esteems and lost or jaded humanity.

What then is it to marry well? I dare say, when it comes to money an educated hard working person can get that. A man aside having money should be refined, intelligent, cultured, sexually aware and confident in himself and the woman who wants to mate him should be an equal match in that segment. No mate should be a meal ticket or trophy to one another.

As a woman, it’s not about semi or outright nudity, it’s not about being a virgin or how many men you have being with, it’s in the grace with which we carry ourself, knowing when to be outwardly and when to be quiet and give those shy delicate smiles. A woman wearing expensive designer outfit without grace or decorum is as much of a turn off as the one in the poorly assembled cheap clothes.

Some women are strong and a match for most men, but if she has lost the woman in her, that milk and ability to nurture, be tender and gentle then she may just well enlist in the army.

One thing of note I am still learning, as I advise myself everyday is this, no matter how distinguished a union, if there is no love at the core of it, it is a failure. Love is not enough to get married but it is a must have and a non negotiable requirement.

Love is not as we see it on TV and you cry, there are factors that make you come to love someone, love may not be present at the very beginning but must be at the core and at the point when you take stock.
This is the not the love you fall into, it’s the love you grow in and nurture, that love that makes you wake up beside that man or woman and smile to yourself, the love that tugs at your heart after all the times you hate them for getting it wrong and you walk up to them, fix their hair or tie with that kiss on the forehead and the locking of the eyes you are reminded of how your life is genuinely worth living with them in it.

Potpourri of random maybe sensible something- 1

Long yawn;

Long stretch;

Pretend yoga, I think I am still sleeping

Quick bath, take a long time to decide what to wear….get in the lift and down to the restaurant for a pretend meal. I am not hungry but I have in the last 10 days psyched myself into eating a compulsory breakfast which I must say is one of my greatest achievement in the last 2 weeks aside going on a water slide going through a dark tunnel where I am most certain I died for 30seconds.

In that tunnel I discovered a scary side of me but that’s not the story for today. Well, do I actually have a story?

So the waitress walks up to me(she is Filipino), with an awesome smile and almost non existent English summons courage to ask me me which part of the world i have come from. She doesn’t know Nigeria by the way so I convince her I am from somewhere in Africa, she tells me I looked “nice” then she asks “madam, what is your good name?” I spell out my name and tell her what my name means.
She has just met an African for the first time and a Nigerian for the first time.

So, I am about to crawl under the sheets and a friend somewhere across the world is having lunch…sometimes in life we get tired of our old phone, car, clothes and whatever earthly treasures we may well fancy. Those things are the dreams and ambitions of someone somewhere across the world or just next door.

You may well ask whats the sense in this?

Life is in phases.

We may want all the things our neighbors have, there is that one thing we are meant to have that our neighbors may not have or ever have.

As bad as it gets, someone somewhere wants to be where you are now and that’s what they live and pray for.

Enjoy your morning and be thankful for it, it is afternoon and scorching sun somewhere….

Opportunity, Time and Choice

Life oftentimes is about opportunity, timing and choice.

Sometimes we are not ready for the things that come our way so we loose out on a lot of goodness and beauty. The truth is if we had chosen we may have made the best out of it.

Its like a job opening for a position you don’t have the entire requirement for, that there is an opportunity but the time isnt right but here is the catch choice ultimately is the defining factor. If you choose to go for the interview its a 50-50 chance you get the job and there is a 80-20 chance you will be enriched and even open doors to more out of life.

Sometimes what we need is a nudge, someone or something to push us even when we are not quite ready, because you know there is a never a right time for anything, time is what you make it.

Today is all we ever really have we don’t have tommorrow and yesterday is lost, we live in today so what you dont do or say today is as gone as yesterday. Everything we encounter depending on what side of the fence you are on is an opportunity for something to happen that can change your life forever it may be for the best or you may as well be on your way to hell in a hand basket.

Its like relationships, people mostly dont value anything or anyone that finds them, they value what or who they find largely i will say in this part of the world we are just used to stress,so if you dont hustle it dont mean nothing. Well, here is how i see it, believe it or not, being found is a huge opportunity and yields the most result if well harnessed nothing like being chosen by destiny.

Bucketlist ideas before the 30th or maybe 40th

Birthdays are special simply because its the one day you celebrate yourself, a day you get attention just because, and you become a year older an age you only get to be once. So as another birthday draws close,i am thinking of all the fun and not so fun things i have done, so here i made a list of my fun achievements and yet to achieve…..in highlight are all my achievements

Have fun….you can make yours too or use mine, i won’t sue

  1. Killed a mosquito,cockroach, rat,snake & scorpion-except a snake,but have beaten a dead one
  2. Swam in a river or pool-well i was being taught
  3. Bought everyone in the bar a drink
  4. Climbed a rock-shere hills, olumo rock, Usuma dam rock & one in front of my secondary school
  5. Gone on a test drive in an Aston martin or any exotic car
  6. Visited ancient sites
  7. Visited sites of any of the world wonders
  8.  Held an octopus
  9. Taken a candlelit bath with someone
  10. Visited Paris,Vegas & India
  11. Gone on a boat cruise
  12. Traveled by sea
  13. Gone sky diving
  14. Said “I love you” and meant it
  15. Sold at a fair
  16. Hugged a tree
  17. Been on a trampoline
  18. Stayed up all night long and saw the sun rise
  19. Been in a cave
  20. Gone to a huge sports game
  21. Picked or squashed a bee-hive-got stung in the process
  22. Grown and eaten your own vegetables
  23. Seen & been out in a hailstorm
  24. Slept outside  under the stars
  25. Had a baby
  26. Changed a baby’s diaper
  27. Walked a tightrope
  28. Saw a shooting star and made a wish
  29. Gotten drunk on champagne or palm wine
  30. Counted the stars-never turns out right
  31. Sang at a karaoke
  32. Given more than you can afford to charity
  33. Spied on someone
  34. Eavesdropped on teenagers or kids
  35. Had an uncontrollable giggling fit at the wrong time
  36. Poured food or water or drinks on someone
  37. Gambled
  38. Asked out a stranger
  39. Had a pillow fight
  40. Held a new born whether human or animal
  41. Screamed as loudly as you possibly can
  42. Kissed a stranger
  43. Had a one night-stand with a stranger
  44. Kissed on the first date
  45. Seen an eclipse of any sort
  46. Spoken in an usual accent for a whole day
  47. Made a complete fool of yourself
  48. Arrested by police or being in prison
  49. Ridden a roller coaster
  50. Played any sport and won
  51. Danced like a fool and didn’t care who was looking
  52. Made out with a partner because someone was watching
  53. Honestly felt happy about your life, even for just a moment
  54. Crashed your computer
  55. Caused an accident
  56. Visited all the states in an entire country whether your s or another-almost done with mine,Nigeria
  57. Taken care of the sick
  58. Taken care of a drunk
  59. Feigned sickness so you don’t go to work or to get attention
  60. Had really cool and amazing friends
  61. Crashed a party
  62. Danced with a stranger in a foreign country
  63. Stolen sweet or something from a tray of a street hawker or kiosk
  64. Watched waves at sea or beach
  65. Backpacked to anywhere
  66. Gone on a stroll at night on a beach
  67. Gone on a road trip across countries
  68. Caused a scene for no reason
  69. Sat on a fast moving car
  70. Been heartbroken longer than you were in love or the life span of the relationship
  71. Milked a cow
  72.  Helped a goat or dog deliver their new born
  73. Stayed indoors for one whole week without stepping outside your own door
  74. Lounged in bed all day without even a shower, had all your meals brought to you in bed
  75. Played football or any sport with a celebrity in that field
  76. Kissed in the rain
  77. Started a business
  78. Bought a house
  79. Played in the mud or rain
  80. Fallen in love and not had your heart broken
  81. Taken a martial arts class
  82. Taken a salsa or dance class
  83. Gotten married
  84. Gone without food for longer than 3 days
  85. Starred in a movie- short film on HIV & stigma(10mins)
  86. Gotten divorced
  87. Baked a cake
  88. Received a state or any award
  89. Ridden in a trolley at a mall
  90. Being on television as an expert on something
  91. Being in the news
  92. Have a photo of you in the papers or magazine
  93. Gotten a tattoo
  94. Received or given flowers
  95. Surprised anyone and they were pleasantly surprised
  96. Had a surprise party
  97. Performed on stage
  98. Recorded a song or had your voice recorded
  99. Being on radio
  100. Eaten a wild animal or any animal you are scared off
  101. Raised children
  102. Being in a combat zone or in a cross fire
  103. Spoken more than one language fluently
  104. Followed your favorite band/musician on tour
  105. Being backstage at a concert
  106. Picked up and moved to another city to just start over
  107. Walked on a bridge
  108. Sang loudly in the car, and didn’t stop when you knew someone was looking with the windows open
  109. Made out in a moving car
  110. Gone on a power bike ride
  111. Had plastic surgery
  112. Held someone while they were dying
  113. Survived an accident that you shouldn’t have survived
  114. Broken someone’s heart
  115. Wrote articles for a serious publication
  116. Lost or gained 30kg
  117. Being a hero
  118. Won money on a TV game show
  119.  Had a piercing not your ear
  120. Broken a bone
  121. Fired a rifle or any gun
  122. Ridden a horse
  123. Slept for 30 hours in 2days
  124. Had major surgery
  125. Visited all the continents
  126. Had a pet
  127. Taken a boat or vehicle trip that lasted more than 2 days
  128. Read an entire book upside now
  129. Have a painting of yourself
  130. Skipped a reunion or a family meeting
  131. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
  132. Save someone’s life
  133. Donated blood
  134. Dyed your hair
  135. Shaved your hair, completely bald
  136. Been a DJ
  137. Spent a whole day without talking
  138. Camp out in your backyard or a friend’s for a weekend
  139. Attend or host a slumber party
  140. Kiss under water
  141. Visit whether a temple whether you believe in it or not
  142. Attend a fellowship of a religion other than yours just to know
  143. Go on a date with a favorite celebrity
  144. Pay the fees of an orphan
  145. Help out at a hospice for a week
  146. Prank call someone for a whole day
  147. Welcome a loved one at the airport and embarrass them with affection
  148. Sleep on the floor of your room cuddled for a week
  149. Forgive someone sincerely and do something nice for them
  150. Give yourself a flamboyant treat and make a video of it