The enemy next door...

So i have being following the Abia state university rape story, i have read people’s opinion especially men.

Rape is  hurtful, heart breaking, dehumanizing, words fail me in the description of the act. Most people rather not share their experiences, but if you ever cared to listen, observe or ask you will find that most of your favorite women have being victims.

Rape is unexplainable for the victim if it was committed by a friend or loved one because often times the victim on the day of the incident would have visited or invited the rapist innocently.

Rapists usually are not hard faced men, they are often nice and ordinary. Some are charmers, talkative, engaging and fun men they are hardly misfits, lonely, mentally ill or loafers, they are also gainfully employed. Serial rapists are however predatory, stalkers and cold, they make calculated attempts to build relationships with their prey. Rapist adopt different strategies in executing their well thought out plan.

When a woman is raped, she is blamed but i tell you no one should blame the woman especially in the time frame of the actual act. Half the time rapists claim to have being insulted or seduced, rape is not an act based on impulse, it is a well thought act, women really do not incite men to rape them, rape is the sole responsibility of the rapist. There is no right way to respond to a rape situation. Honestly i would advice that women stay calm and follow their instincts. Some rapist are either power assertive, they are retaliating for some reasons based on their anger, some want to reassure themselves or are excited by the pain you go through. Power assertive rapists are more aggressive and very physical so fighting him will only weaken you, crying or begging won’t work here to escape you must be serious and put in a good deal of fight .

A retaliatory rapist looks for an opportunity to rape and has no specific victim, they generally hate women and want to punish them for some reason, he will batter you into submission and fighting will only anger him, he may not kill you but the beating could be fatal so if you can’t harm him, submit. It is safer not cajole, plead, threaten or speak. Rapists who seek to reassure themselves have no confidence and can’t face women. They often fantasize, masturbate, peep, stalk and preselect their victims. They are often friends, colleagues, neighbors and relatives. Screaming, crying, praying, talking and any form of distraction may work here, violence of any sort or level will infuriate him.

These last set of rapists are the worst kinds, rapists excited by the pain are often anger driven, they are sadists. His crime is premeditated, he is the charming and intelligent kind. He would take photographs, make videos, collect items to keep a memory of you, he will keep a diary and may kill you to hide his acts. He will often gag or tie up his victims, he may resort to gang rape so he can watch the pain you go through. There is no escaping this man, you have to match wits, trick or con him him into anything that may help you escape .

Taking self defense classes or buying pepper spray may help but the truth is it will take a really tough skinned woman to withstand the pain that will be inflicted by a power assertive rapist, according to research information two-thirds of rape cases are by this category of rapist.

A woman’s best bet is to size up, profile and understand the rapist and follow her instincts, many have escaped by talking, fighting or tricking the rapists. To say don’t do anything in a rape situation is absolute nonsense, follow your instincts and do exactly what it says if you survive the ordeal, you made the right choice.

No matter how beautiful your life gets after being raped, the truth is you will never forget until you have talked about it preferably to some one close where you can cry and have someone truly sympathize with you. We should all understand that rape is a life changing experience, many women still suffer post rape related syndrome which affects their responsiveness to men and relationships.

Rape is not unwanted sex but a violent crime, even married men rape their wives and men also get raped. A good number of men were violated before they turned 16 often by people they know. Rape doesn’t occur because of the way you dress, rapist explore vulnerability of the women, rape can happen to any woman, it has being estimated that 1 in every 8 women will be raped in their life time.

Your girlfriend, sister or colleagues may have being raped or in danger. If you ever find yourself in love with a victim or have them as friends, you should be supportive and understanding. They want to know you respect them, some women develop new phobias after being raped like fear of grabbing, some become promiscuous in a way to forget or feel normal and some are angry and self-destructive.

Rape is a violent crime and must be be stopped.